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It’s All Good

We take you to the parallel and opposite universe to the world of Nog, in the constellation Polaminis and the land of Zog. The date is early January 2020 and there is a debate raging on the floor of the Zoggian Senate. One, Mitch McConnor, a Senator from the Zoggian state of Kenflucky has the floor and he is raging against the actions of President Stump as he joins a growing list of lawmakers who want Stump convicted and removed from office so that the nation can heal and everyone can be happy again. In time, McConnor leverages his considerable political power and it would seem that Stump’s days are numbered, that is until, the Stumper himself asks for his day in court and he takes the bully pulpit and to the amazement and wonder of all assembled who expected thunderous words of sturm and drang, instead he agrees to step down so that there will be a peaceful and orderly transfer of power to Vice President Nonsense, who likewise sees the handwriting on the wall and demurs while sending the reigns of government to House Speaker Nancy Pilstosi who becomes the first woman to be president of Zog.

But all is not well in the land as there is word from the other side of the world in the nation of Reminda that a new kind of virus has been found and that it is deadly and is spread by frogs and threatens to spread around the entire land of Nog at which time the Reminda officials call on the entire world to join in finding a way to limit and eradicate the virus, which has been dubbed Mycorona, and President Stump in a moment of clarity orders that all the nation’s epidemiologists go to Reminda, including his top and most favorite scientist, Dr. Anthony Ouchey, to help their Remindian counterparts to stop the possible plague. And it was done and only 6 people in the entire world of Nog became sickened and they all recovered within two hours after showing symptoms that included sneezing and complaining.

And there was great turmoil in the streets of the land after police killed an unarmed African Noggian man who was suspected of nothing in particular , just the latest in a series of unnecessary and lethal attacks on African Noggians. And in a mass demonstration, leaders of the “African Noggian Lives Matter” movement marched arm in arm with groups of men with large stomach and many tattoos who had previously stood for purity of the Noggian race but later rejected that philosophy and called on the police in every Noggian state to undergo 10 years of training before they could pack a gun.

And on other fronts, it was an equally impressive year on Nog as the Noggian Congress unanimously voted to require that any fracking or oil drilling would only be permitted on a small tract in the southernmost village of Mary-a-Blago and though it was President Stump’s winter home, he wholeheartedly supported the measure while signing laws that make it illegal for anyone to own any kind of gun more powerful than one that shoots small marshmallows.

And in yet another wonderful development, scientists announced that they had finally discovered the cure for any and all forms of cancer and that it was ridiculously simple and they were all embarrassed at not finding the cure earlier and said cure turned out to be Mr. Clean combined with copious amounts of dried turnips.

On the employment front, it was reported that there were just two people without jobs in all of Nog and they included a woman who formerly was a dog walker and a man who was a juggler but whose talents were no longer in vogue. And lastly a musical group known as the Neatles got back together to the cheers and lasting joy of everyone in the land of Nog as the group said it would dedicate its reunion to John Prine.

Meanwhile back on earth, it is Dec . 21, 2020, and God is meeting with his lieutenants as he offered a few somber words for his creations.

“You have made a huge mess of it all,” says God to all of mankind. “But I am not vengeful, old testament excluded, and I am allowing you all a chance to set the record straight as I hereby order you all to re-do 2020 and see if you can get it right and if you can’t I don’t care if it takes you 200 more years before you see the light.”