0403blog

What melting pot?

When I was a young Jew, Easter Sunday meant nothing to me, other than a day when my Christian neighbors and friends got all spiffed up for church and then gathered for a big family dinner and in school, I recall Easter egg hunts where kids ran amok, hither and yon, desperately searching for the slightly hidden eggs that had been emptied of yolks and dipped in blue, red, yellow and green vegetable die and how kids loved to eat the ears off the chocolate bunnies. It did not seem to hold a lot of religious significance.

Easter came at around the same time as Passover, I guess it still does. I daresay that to many Christians, Passover is some kind of obscure, mysterious holiday, probably not so far from pagan festivals like Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Litha, Lughnasadh, Mabon and Samhain, and that on Passover Jews did something and prayed about something that was a total riddle wrapped in an enigma inside a mystery, a celebration that bordered on sinister, at least to all the goyim and in their minds, it certainly was nowhere near as important as Easter and was filled with all kinds of outrageous beliefs and traditions. It was all part of that strange religion referred to as the Star of Davis.

But to the Jews, Passover has always been a really big deal because it commemorates the exodus of “the children of Israel,” as they like to be called, from years of horrible, stifling and seemingly un-ending Egyptian bondage while Jews eat food symbolic of the exodus, and dip their pinkies in wine and recite the 10 plagues of blood, frogs, bugs, wild animals, pestilence, boils, hail, locust, darkness and death of the firstborns, and later open the front door to allow a ghost named Elijah the prophet to enter. All very factual stuff.

Easter is the most important and oldest festival of the Christian Church, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Millions of Christians down through the eons have believed, many to the point of death, that 2021 years ago, a man was born to a virgin mother, and about 30 years later was crucified by the Romans and after his death, rose to his heavenly father for eternal life.

I find it rather astounding, that people, including me, blithely negate a belief that has been a cornerstone of the faith of tens, if not, hundreds of millions of Christians for thousands of years. At the same time, the Christian world insists that Jesus is the messiah and that Jews’ failure to accept that has led to their deserved persecution through the ages.

We discard ridiculous beliefs to replace them with other ridiculous beliefs. Nobody really believes anymore that Apollo is the god of light, music and healing or that Aurora is the goddess of dawn or that Bacchus is the god of agriculture and wine, etc., etc., etc. Those Romans were just ignorant and made things up, not like the Nabu, the major deity that was worshiped by the Assyrians and Babylonians, who was considered to be the patron god of scribes, and a god of writing, learning, prophecies, and of wisdom, the god of fertility and prosperity and dictated the yield of a harvest. Or as Hindus, who are the third largest religion in the world, believe that Vishnu, Brahma, Surya, Shakti (Devi) and Shiva are the Supreme deity, depending on your sect.

None of the ancient beliefs mean anything to me beyond providing a basis where holidays and tradition bring people together. I think it’s all just silly superstitions and I will never understand how people can cling to beliefs that would seem utterly absurd like a man rising from the dead or a God raining down frogs and vermin on a bad pharaoh. I’ve always looked at religious beliefs as metaphors that often, but not always, provide positive guidance in life. But literal, no, I can’t buy that.

I don’t know if incredible religious beliefs are any different than the wild claims that fill the Internet, like the beliefs circulating in the QAnon world that former President Donald Trump was secretly working to stop a child sex cabal run by Hollywood and political elites who will one day be revealed during an apocalyptic event known as The Storm.

I would like to believe that God saved the Jews and that Jesus was the son of God and I would like to believe that everlasting life is offered to those who follow the word of God and Jesus and I would like to believe that God created man in his own image. I am not stupid enough to rule out God and everything he is rumored to do, just in case, but I also don’t have any reason to believe it, so I guess I am what is called an equal opportunity agnostic, I don’t believe anything.

So with that, here are some jokes:

“With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. “If you believe in me enough to give me $50,” he said, “I will grant you eternal life.”

“Sorry, I’m an atheist,” the fellow replied, “and have never believed in God.”

God walked up to another man and made the same offer. “Well, I’m an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or not,” the guy said, “but here’s 50 bucks, just in case.”

As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him. “I’m Pat Robertson and don’t really care if you’re God or not,” he said excitedly. “Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and I’ll give you $100.”

And this from Jules Feiffer: “Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?”

And finally, Woody Allen, who said famously, “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”