0507blog

Is There an Oxymoron in the House

Humane executions is an oxymoron so maybe we should call it what it is, murder, because an execution by any other name is just as lethal and uncivilized.

South Carolina is bringing back the barbaric practice of execution by firing squad because of a shortage of the drug that is used for lethal injections. The death penalty was restored by the Supreme Court in 1976 and since then most states have opted for lethal injection. Poor Billy Bailey of Delaware was hanged in 1966, the last person to be legally strung up in the U.S. Hanging is allowed as a secondary method of execution in New Hampshire for people sentenced to death before 2019. New York was the first state to use the electric chair in 1890, however, for unlucky William Kemmler, it took two surges of electricity lasting nearly two minutes to kill Kemmler. Ouch.

But the South Carolina plan is not that bad because the accused will have a choice of either firing squad or lethal injection and that is like choosing between your mother’s creamed corn or her liver, equally deadly. It’s like the absurd last meal for the condemned, as here we are about to impose the most barbaric punishment but first would you like cheese on your burger? And personally, I never understood the Eighth Amendment, which protects prisoners against cruel and unusual punishment. Isn’t executing someone rather cruel and somewhat unusual? I suppose it would be more enlightened to simply tear the person’s heart out while he or she is sleeping but then he or she would miss that wonderful final meal.

And what’s so bad about the gas chamber anyway where people just look like their choking to death on a chicken bone. It’s relatively quick, clean and it’s easy to hide so that the public can continue with their fairy tale belief that executions are civilized and it could be much worse, like ripping out fingernails and setting fire ants on open wounds. The electric chair also is relatively drama-free but there tend to be those nasty, tell tale burns on the body. And as a fall back, they could burn the accused at the stake and the advantage of this method would be the potential for televised burnings with all the attendant profits of viewers and advertisers although it would have to be rated “R” for violence.

But there is the potential for screw-ups with either the lethal injection or the firing range or even the electric chair. Lethal injection is the primary method of execution in all 29 states that authorize executions. But maybe the poison is too weak, maybe it’s past its expiration date (excuse the pun) or maybe the syringe breaks and as far as the firing range, what about a lousy shot that just whacks the person’s knee and that would really hurt or misses altogether while the blindfolded and terrified death row prisoner waits excruciating minutes that must feel like serial lifetimes for the marksmen to try it again.

Personally, I choose televised gladiators where all the gladiators are eventually eaten by the lions and that would save public money on bullets or lethal drugs and at the same time, the gladiators could be televised with streaming video and advertising that would surely bring in revenues and what’s more American than that. During the colonial era, the powers that be invited spectators and thought public hangings would deter bad behavior and thousands would gather around the gallows to watch the dastardly act and then hear a sermon from a representative of God.

The death penalty is OK except it is rather final and what if the accused is later proven innocent by DNA that couldn’t be examined because the technology wasn’t available at the time? Well, you might say, that’s just too bad for the accused and shouldn’t he or she have gotten arrested after the technology was refined and anyway, how often does it happen? Not very often, you say, so it doesn’t justify not executing somebody just because the person might be innocent. And what about mistaken eye witnesses, false testimony, incompetent lawyers, false confessions, police or prosecutorial misconduct and last but not least, racial bias.

The National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty reported that more than 1,414 individuals have been executed in the U.S. since 1976. Since 1973, 156 people have been exonerated from death row, found to be innocent and released. That means that for every 10 people who have been executed since the death penalty was reinstated in the U.S., one person has been set free and that is a lot.

One alternative method of execution that is under study is death from nitrogen hypoxia where nitrogen slowly replaces the oxygen that is provided to the accused through a face mask or oxygen tent. The condemned person would lose consciousness about 15 seconds after the switch was made to nitrogen and about 30 seconds later, brain waves stop and about two to three minutes later, the heart ceases and it’s all over. This technique is believed to be painless but it needs further study and probably figuring out a less painful way to execute people is not that high on the list of things to do in states like South Carolina.

So it gets down to a matter of choice. Would the accused choose lethal injection or a firing squad? There’s not a lot of information out there about what hurts more. I would opt for being screamed and nagged to death by cruel in-laws.

And as for oxymorons, try civilized barbarians, if the shoe fits.