0821blog
Poor Sad Donald
If, like me, you’ve been wondering what happened to Ivanka Trump, she’s been kidnapped by aliens from the planet Zak and is being kept in a secret location in northeastern Illinois, not far from the Wisconsin border, where she is under guard 24–7 by AR-15 toting pigmies and Stella Immanuel.
That was just in from the Q-anon website, your place for the latest developments in the land of the crazies, endorsed by none other than our fearless leader. But hey, I can’t prove that Ivanka hasn’t been kidnapped.
And now another bulletin just in. President Trump awakened from a deep slumber and turned to call out in terror to Melania before he remembered she hadn’t slept with him since Jan. 22, 2005, the day after their marriage, and even on the honeymoon they had separate villas. So he called her on his cell but the reception to the farthest wing of the White House was not very good and Melania was fast asleep in the bedroom where she recently had the lock changed.
His terror was caused by a nightmare he had just had where nobody liked him, not even Barron, and his comb over was gone. Finally Melania picked up and said, “What? This better be important.”
And Donald said, “Melania, I had a nightmare that nobody liked me, not even Barron, and that my comb over was gone.”
“Duh,” said Melania. “That’s about the size of it. Only add me to the growing list of people who never did and never will like you but do like all your jewels. And your comb over always looked ridiculous.”
What a sad epitaph will be inscribed for eternity on his future grave stone. “Here lies Donald J. Trump, multi jillionaire who nobody liked.” I would not like to walk about every day knowing that the only people who liked me were those parasites who were trying to suck something out of me. But then again, what goes around, comes around.
He is like Ebenezer Scrooge, claiming he really isn’t concerned with anything but money and something as petty as friendship which is just an inconvenient obstacle to making more money. So what happens when he meets up with the ghosts of Christmas, past, present and future?
The ghost of the past shows Donald licking the boots of his late, equally friendless father, while, on the day his brother died, Donald goes to the movies to see a screening of Citizen Kane and later asks Roy Cohn for tips on stabbing people in the back and not getting caught.
As for the ghost of the present, Donald can be seen in Mar-a-Lago, seated under the photo of himself that was paid for by his charity, as he seethes while screaming about non disclosure agreements with Michael Cohen, Mary Trump, John Bolton, Steve Bannon, Michael Wolff, Omarosa Manigault Newman, James Comey, H.R. McMaster, Rex Tillerson, Cliff Sims, Ivana Trump and Marla Maples.
And the ghost of the future leads Donald to a grim scene where he is looking out from the bars of his prison cell, screaming “It’s a hoax” and “Hillary did it.”
Realizing the tragedy of a life without love and friendship Donald pleads with the ghost of future Christmases and says he will change his ways if he can stay out of prison and will even get a dog.
“Fuggetaboutit Donald. Some things are what they are. Enjoy your three hots and a cot,” responds the ghost of Christmas future before he does a jig and trots away singing “Ding dong the witch is dead.”
And Donald is left to mourn a lost life, with his lonely treasures and his lonely kingdom. And for his last words on his death bed, he calls out “Rosebud.”