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College loans, health, tumors, dictators, Uighurs, North Korea, Trump. There’s a virtual cornucopia of worries and anxieties to pick from these days.
My anxieties fall into three categories: World, national and local. I think about all the things that the world powers might be getting away with but we don’t hear about because the constant onslaught of COVID-19 news crowds out everything else.
Uighurs: How is this beleaguered, attacked minority holding up under the COVID -19 pandemic? They’re probably either all gone or have all been put in concentration camps somewhere hidden deep in the Chinese bowels. Or didn’t that happen already? The Chinese government created the pandemic so they could quietly kill all the Uighurs. It could happen.
North Korea: If the North Koreans bombed Seattle would it push the COVID -19 stories off the front page of the Times? Maybe it did happen and I missed the story on the bottom of page 35.
Russia: I understand that Russia has invaded Ukraine again and installed Jared Kushner as acting president. He is unquestionably qualified because of something he said. Did I miss that too? And yes, the golden showers video has been released but sorry, there was no room for the story in the Times. And the quality was a bit grainy, anyway.
Middle East: The Israelis have expanded settlements throughout the West Bank and Gaza and into Canada and not a word of opposition was spoken. Palestinians were forced to renounce everything.
ISIS has reorganized and started a new caliphate in Warren County, N.J. Various state leaders have been overheard in wiretaps consorting with ISIS which has agreed to work with WalMart on a new line of clothing. Deep state stuff indeed.
Amazon rainforest: Gone. All the trees were chopped down to make way for new recreational facilities that involve greens, holes and little balls. If a tree falls in the forest and the Times had no room for the story, did the trees really fall?
Muslims in India: Gone. After a plebiscite, Islam was outlawed and all Muslims had to move out and settle in Timbuktu, Mali.
Polar ice cap: Converted into a major summer resort and funded by a group headed by Exxon, Gazprom, Rosneft and Lukoil. A summer White House opened and was named Son of Mara Lago, complete with the biggest golf course in the world.
Afghanistan: What is an Afghanistan? Is it a middle eastern dish or the title of a new Broadway show? I think it’s a piece of apparel that keeps you warm on cold May nights. Or maybe a dog.
The Wall: This may fall under national or world angst. The wall was completed but Mexican funds were limited and the wall was built just a foot tall and was made of papier mache. It was less than 100 percent effective.
U.S. Constitution: Gone and reworked to eliminate all but one of the lines in the bill of rights that gives the president total power over everything forever.
DACA: Renewal of the act that is also known as Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals. Are you kidding? Children born in the U.S. to undocumented parents have been placed in tiny cages and scattered throughout the northwest.
Abortion: Totally banned under a scientific study that shows that life begins when a couple decides to maybe have sex at some time in the near or distant future.
Coal fired energy: A virtual revival of a dying industry after a study panel found that clean air causes cancer.
Solar power: Outlawed after the same study found that too much sun can change a person’s political identity.
Presidential Power: Unlimited and nobody can listen to the president’s phone calls ever again or ask him any questions abut anything at any time, ad nauseam.
Presidential income taxes: Trump’s returns show an annual income of $29.73 and he has the proof that he never lied about anything or covered up anything or did anything else that was ever wrong, ever.
Foreclosures: Large swaths of housing developments throughout New Jersey are foreclosed and the properties are purchased for redevelopment by a consortium including Exxon, Gazprom, Rosneft and Lukoil.
Disease has been outlawed and healthcare is no longer necessary. Exceptions for coverage are made based on a lengthy questionnaire which focuses on income and race.
Law enforcement authority is bolstered to include such laws as jogging while black. Police are authorized to stop and frisk anybody at anytime for any reason as long as it is a good reason.