https://medium.com/@philgarber/blog

0929blog

Lock the Door

Did you ever have a boss who was utterly unqualified and obnoxious and made infantile racist and sexist jokes but his father owned the company and who really made you sick but when you saw him you had to put on nauseous, make-believe smiles and faux comments, while you held your nose?

Did you ever have rotten food in the refrigerator that wreaked for weeks like a combination of old sushi and tofu but there was no sushi or tofu in the box and you couldn’t figure out what smelled so putrid?

Did you ever have to grit and grind your teeth and welcome in the couple to your home who were as vacuous as the open sky and had nothing but hot air to add to any discussion while they wasted precious moments of your life and ate your food?

Did you ever have neighbors who were so loud, obnoxious and without any saving grace who draped a huge Trump-Pence banner on their house and who had a dog that used your yard as a toilet bowl every morning but you couldn’t say anything because it wouldn’t do any good anyway?

Did you ever have someone you disliked so much that the person has invaded even your dreams and seems to occupy your thoughts every waking moment of every day and feels like a toothache that won’t quit but the dentist can’t do anything about it?

Did you ever drive your car at night in a drenching, wind-driven rain and get lost when your lights and wipers stopped working and you couldn’t close the windows while the night got colder and the same thing happens night after night after night?

Did you ever want to watch television but every channel was a cheesy soap opera or a reality show about rich, white, selfish big busted women who got shots to make their lips and butts bigger and who thought they were somehow entitled to anything they wanted or a talk show featuring people who ate bats?

That’s how I feel about, you guessed it, Donald Trump. I am so sick of this fool dominating my thoughts and those of millions of others while he takes over time that should be devoted to positive things like family time and good music.

Trump is like really, really bad music but it’s all there is on the radio. Everything he touches turns to doo doo and he would sell his own grandmother for a few pieces of silver and probably did. His head really is filled with flies and he really is the bad relative who I would tell to never call or visit again and I would let out a huge sigh of relief to watch him driving away never to be seen again.

So no, I won’t be watching tonight’s so-called presidential debate which is really one more reality show stage where the clown in chief gets to prance about and tell his obscene lies but I know millions of Americans will watch like voyeurs, hoping to see a train wreck and salivating to see Joe Biden squirm or utter a misspoken word while Trump calls Biden names, claims the reports about his failure to pay taxes are a hoax and once again looks in the eye of the American public and threatens to stay in office, whether he wins or loses.

I will not allow this despicable, stupid, selfish little man to sully my eyes and ears and waste more of my precious time. Instead, I will be watching the Simpsons.