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A Gascon and Rodomont

Now a refreshing break from the words that have been leaching out of a White House that has been turned into a cesspool in four short years.

We’ve all heard the same terms that have been used to describe Donald Trump, expressions like mean, pompous, liar, wretch, bigot, bigmouth, asshole, piece of shit, sexist pig, etc., etc., etc. But words lose their weight and become trite and hackneyed when overused and no longer do justice to a situation and that is why I offer some that maybe haven’t been as overused, words that might bring a newness, a beautiful freshness to the conversation when describing Trump. Get out your Google and learn some new and exciting words to describe the man who would be king.

Let’s start with “piece of shit” and replace it with asshole, total asshole, fucking asshole, fucking jerk, sack of shit, dick head and the very descriptive, “you dumb shit.”

Instead of “mean,” how about greedy, selfish, mercenary, miserly, parsimonious, penurious, rapacious, scrimpy, stingy, tight, tight-fisted and my favorite, mingy.

Rather than “pompous,” a novel way to describe the man is bombastic, grandiose, imperious, overbearing, pretentious, self-important, bloated, conceited, high and mighty, high-flown, inflated, magniloquent, narcissistic, orotund, ostentatious, puffed up, showy, sonorous, stuck-up, supercilious, turgid, uppity, vain, vainglorious, windy and my favorite, “flatulent.”

Referring to Trump as a “liar” is used way too often to mean anything anymore. Change it to deceiver, fibber, falsifier, teller of lies, perjurer, fabricator, equivocator, prevaricator, impostor, spinner of yarns and the old reliable, mountebank.

Trump is certainly a “rascal” but there are words that describe him with much more clarity and beauty. That would include black sheep, blackguard, bully, cad, devil, good-for-nothing, grafter, miscreant, reprobate,skunk and the always reliable, “wastrel.”

Wretch fits him well but these are oh, so much more descriptive words: Bezonian, brute, caitiff, cullion, libertine, lowlife, miscreant, pilgarlic, poltroon, rapscallion, reprobate, snake and of course, scum.

“Big mouth” is another adjective that is interchangeable with Trump. For a change, how about bag of wind, blowhard, blusterer, braggart, bull artist, gasbag or its relative, windbag.

And Trump does boast, but better than calling him a boaster, let’s use: Blowhard, braggadocio, fanfaron, gascon, rodomont or the ever popular, “vaunter.”

Uneducated is often the way Trump is described. To get at the nut of the matter, call him untaught, unschooled, ill-educated, unread, illiterate, ignorant, benighted, empty-headed, ignoramus, lowbrow and the word that fits him to a tee, “unrefined.”

“Vindictive” and Trump are synonymous but words with much more melodious rings include: Vengeful, avenging, unforgiving, grudge-bearing, implacable, malignant, cruel, merciless, ruthless or venomous.

Think Trump and you think totally “self-important.” Better refer to him as conceited, arrogant, bumptious, puffed up, swollen-headed, swaggering, domineering, pontifical, overweening, supercilious, condescending and of course, uppity.

And anyone who has heard him speak knows the man is a bigot but that just doesn’t tell the story. Try partisan, sectarian, racist, sexist, homophobe, chauvinist, xenophobe, jingoist, anti-Semite, male chauvinist pig, white supremacist or just “fiend.”

To put it all together, using the best of the best, how about “Trump, you are a dumb shit who is a mingy, flatulent, montebank and nothing but a wastrel scum. And you are an unrefined windbag and vaunter, venomous, uppity and a plain fiend.”

So there.