Sophisticated Campaigning

“Your mother wears combat boots” was a slur tossed at somebody on the fourth grade playground to get his goat and make him cry, turn red and run away in total embarrassment.

The little chant “Joe and Joanie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G” was another uber-sophisticated taunt that spread like wildfire and was sure to make little Joey flee the playground in shame and fear, tail between his legs, terrified to return to school the next day and likely face the same ridicule.

And there’s “hey four eyes,” to the kid who wore glasses; “you’re a retard” to the boy who walked with a pronounced limp from cerebral palsy; “you smell like doo doo” aimed at the child who genuinely had a physical problem with incontinence; and the really clever, “Hey, c, c, c, c, can’t y, y, y you get the word out, loser?” offered to the child who stuttered.

Usually, the ringleader of the playground shame parade was a rich brat who gathered followers who wanted to share in the rich brat’s riches. Sound familiar?

President Trump, that evil genius, and his equally brilliant political gurus must have brainstormed into the wee hours of the night to come up with a strategy for the debate or whatever you’d like to call it. They realized that they had nothing to argue in terms of substance, like how to provide health care to millions if Trump is able to overturn Obamacare; why he paid only $750 in federal income taxes the year he was elected; or why he gave sustenance to the Proud Boys and their like-minded, Nazi-loving friends.

Nope, policy and substance would get no quarter from Trump. He had a real plan, a plan so foolproof, so perfect, that it could not miss in proving to the American electorate that he remains the man to continue to lead our once-great nation even deeper down the toilet. He practiced his strategy frequently and effectively on his fourth grade playground and well into his years when he was an adult only in physical terms.

Remember when at his political rally when our fearless leader flailed his arms to mimic the reporter who had written critically of him and who had a disability. That got Trump love and admiration from those who praise Trump when they aren’t saluting with “Seig Heil.”

Everybody knows that Biden has had a speech stutter since he was young and that he worked very hard to find ways to speak fluently to overcome the stutter. He worked even harder than Trump did when he got his father to give him millions of dollars to start failing businesses.

The debate strategy was for the commander in chief to think back to those days on the school playground and constantly speak over Joe Biden, to yell at him, make fun of him and generally for that icon of presidential manners to stay so much in Biden’s face so that he will lose control and stutter uncontrollably and show the world that he is totally incompetent to lead the nation and that is why we should re-elect Trump.

Guess what? The Trump forces better come up with a better game plan for the next debate because Biden did not whither, did not stammer, did not misspeak despite the anti-presidential onslaught. Biden tried to maintain decorum, tried to talk about issues but it was impossible to be civil while Trump was tossing mounds of doo doo.

The debate or whatever you want to call it, once again showed that Trump has the sensitivity of a doorknob. Stuttering is a serious issue for millions of Americans who survive ridicule and worse but still labor on to live full lives.

Stuttering has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence. If stuttering indicated a little brain, Mr. Trump would be stuttering to beat the band. By taking the low road and trying to bait Biden, Trump was not just demeaning one man but the many, many people who live with a disability that can be so destructive and demoralizing.

Well done, Trump, you’ve shown your crassness once again but then again you’ve had plenty of practice, starting on that fourth grade playground.

So what’s new? I can hardly wait for the next debate when Trump, the big fat bully, will probably try to get Biden by giving him noogies, a wedgie or maybe the timeless practice of grasping the victim’s forearm firmly in both hands, and then twisting the hands in opposite directions about the victim’s arm, causing the tender skin to stretch, making it red and sore, once known by the politically incorrect term as an “Indian burn” or “Chinese burn,” and known around the world by various terms like “buffalo skin,” “snake bite,” “policeman’s glove,” “hundred needles,” “barbed wire,” or “split pig’s feet.”

Sorry, it won’t work. Dick.



Journalist for 40 years and now a creative writer

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