My Oh My

The most amazing, eye popping, jaw dropping, stomach cringing, breathtaking, mind-numbing low moment in the Trump years, so far, and that is saying a lot, came on June 11, 2017, at a meeting of cabinet officials, when the mad leader demanded and got fealty from each of them.

It started with Vice President Mike pence who figuratively kissed the papal ring when he said “The greatest privilege of my life is to serve as vice president to the president who’s keeping his word to the American people,” and Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, who thanked Trump “for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda.”

Each official ticked off his honest to God, cross my heart and hope to die love for the leader as Trump’s Mussolini-like jaw stuck out further and further with each boot licking, just like Pinocchio’s nose grew and grew and grew.

Wow. But the thing is that I had to take a shower after I spent a few hours reviewing the low points and found so many that I had forgotten and had gotten buried in the landfill of tweets and comments that it was impossible to come up with the winners.

Trying to decide on the 10 worst Trumpian moments is like trying to figure the worst 10 bowel movements or to pick the 10 worst sounds from among fingers scratching on the blackboard to the sound of unending flatulence but that’s getting pretty close to the 10 Trumpian moments.

So just when you thought the crazy president had hit rock bottom he surprised you and dug even deeper into his despicable reservoir of immorality. As a writer, I will miss these moments as I am sure that Uncle Joe may have his issues but he won’t hold a candle to the man who invented presidential bad taste.

I could have written about the low 1,000 moments but nobody would read them all so here goes nothing and I also include those gems from the 2016 presidential campaign.

Shit Hole Countries: Balking at an immigration deal, Trump asked lawmakers why there were so many people from “shithole countries” coming to the United States, rather than from places like Norway, with its preponderance of white residents.

Mexico: Then-candidate Trump said that he, “will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me — and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”

Mexican immigration: In the same speech, Trump said that the immigrants from Mexico “have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”

Huge inauguration turnout: Then-press secretary Sean Spicer told the media that the Trump inaugural was “the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration — period — both in person and around the globe.”

I and I alone: In accepting the GOP nomination, “law and order” candidate Trump said that “Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.”

Birther: In 2011, Trump told a meeting of the Conservative Political Action Conference, that President Obama “came out of nowhere. In fact, I’ll go a step further: The people that went to school with him, they never saw him, they don’t know who he is. It’s crazy.”

Trump told Bill O’Reilly that a president must be born in the U.S. but that “there is a doubt as to whether or not he was… He doesn’t have a birth certificate. He may have one, but there’s something on that, maybe religion, maybe it says he is a Muslim. I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t want that. Or he may not have one. But I will tell you this. If he wasn’t born in this country, it’s one of the great scams of all time.”

Falling in love: In September 2018, Trump said that he “fell in love” with North Korea’s totalitarian dictator, Kim Jong Un, even though Kim’s regime runs a vast network of concentration camps, conducts campaigns of mass rape and reportedly executes people with antiaircraft guns for sport. Trump also claimed the two countries reached a pact to limit nuclear weapons. It didn’t.

Very fine people: After a neo-Nazi rally in Charlottesville, Va., where a white supremacists ran over and killed a protester, Trump said there were “very fine people on both sides,” referring to the white supremacists and those who protested hate groups.

Access Hollywood: In a video of the 2005 Access Hollywood tape, Trump bragged to Billy Bush about grabbing women by their genitals without consent. “I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it, you can do anything… grab them by the pussy,” Trump said.

Perfect call: In early July 2019, Trump told Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland to urge aides of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskey to investigate Democratic Party candidate Joe Biden and his son, Hunter. Days later, Trump blocked planned U.S. military aid to Ukraine and in a recorded conversation, Zelenskey asked Trump about increasing military aid and Trump suggested the Bidens’ possible corruption. Trump prefaced his suggestion by saying, “I need you to do me a favor.” Trump later called it a “perfect phone call” and it led to his ultimate impeachment.

Under control: Trump tweeted on Feb. 24 that “the Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA,” even though the virus was quickly spreading. He added that “We are in contact with everyone and all relevant countries. CDC & World Health have been working hard and very smart. Stock Market starting to look very good to me!” A few days later, the market had its worst week since the 2008 financial crisis.

COVID-19 cure: Trump suggests that injecting disinfectant might be a treatment for COVID-19 and irradiating people with UV light also might work. “So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light,” Trump said at a pandemic briefing. “Supposing you brought the light inside of the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. Sounds interesting. And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Pointing to his head, Trump added, “I’m not a doctor. But I’m, like, a person that has a good you-know-what.”

And if you’re not yet exhausted, how about when Trump mocked Christine Blasey Ford and dismissed E. Jean Carroll’s credible rape accusation by saying she wasn’t his “type; lied about illegal hush-money payments to his alleged mistress while pardoning a former sheriff who abused the law; endorsed violence against reporters when he praised a congressman as “my guy” because he assaulted a journalist; mocked a disabled reporter; attacked a Gold Star family; called for a ban on all Muslims entering the U.S.; labeled the press the “enemy of the people”; fired FBI Director James B. Comey after he wouldn’t suppress an investigation into Trump that ultimately led to his impeachment; refused to accept the findings of the U.S. intelligence agencies that blamed Russia for spying; Trump who got military deferments because of bone spurs, said that the late Sen. John McCAin was “not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”; payment of $25 million to settle his Trump University fraud lawsuits; Hurricane Dorian and the famous Sharpie; and, of course, the multiple sexual assault claims; and, and, and, and.

I am so wasted.


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