It’s Brew Time

It’s hard to write about anything other than COVID-19 so I’ll write about friends.

I drink beer every Thursday night, well, every night, but on Thursdays we get together on Zoom from our homes to shoot the breeze and drink beer. We used to get together at Manskirt’s in Hackettstown every Thursday night but you know how that goes in the time of the pandemic.

We had a name for the group but I don’t remember it. It might have been “undesirables” or “the irrelevants” or something like that.

The group started with a few of us who got friendly at a local gym. When the virus arrived, the gym closed and Manskirts closed to everything but take out. We wanted to find a way to keep our connections and the Thursday night virtual soiree was born.

So 8 p.m rolls around on Thursday, often the high point of my day, and I open up Zoom and before long there are four or five of us on the screen. The happy hour is usually in session for about 90 minutes.

We don’t need an advance topic and it seems there are only scattered moments of silence. Sometimes the talk is about politics, well much of the time, about politics. We are all of the same stripe except for one of us but he’s such a nice guy, I’ll cal him Sal, it doesn’t matter, even if he is a Republican. And another is a Republican but more about him later.

As an indicator of Sal’s point of view, I wrote in a recent blog that “at least I’m not quarantined with Mitch McConnell.” My friend asked that I change it to “at least I’m not quarantined with Nancy Pelosi.”

Before the virus, we’d get six or seven guys at Manskirts. Now, there are four regulars with a few others dropping in every now and then. Each regular has a unique personality. I won’t use their real names because they don’t know I’m writing this. We’re in the 55 to 70-plus year old range and we are all white. Two of us are Jews and the others are not. An unspoken rule is no women. Call me just an old-fashioned chauvinist at heart.

There is Tom, the leader who organized the Zoom sessions after we talked about how bad it was to lose our Thursday nights at Manskirts. Tom is very bright, very opinionated and very sure of himself, leading to lively discussions. Tom leans to the left but he doesn’t like to be cornered by labels.

Tom also likes structure and he tried unsuccessfully to lead us to topics for each get together. That didn’t fly, Tom is the glue that keeps the group together.

Then there’s Jim, a level-headed guy who would rather be golfing than just about anything else. That also goes for Tom. They talk about irons and woods and greens and fairways and it might as well be Greek to me. I’ve never gotten into golf although I understand golfers are like junkies, they can’t get enough.

We try not to talk about things that don’t have general interest in the group. So when the talk of golf goes on for too long, I’ll usually cut it off with a casual comment like “I’m dying of boredom. You’re killing me. Can we move on?”

Jim’s passion is to get the state to approve mail-in ballots, to ban “dark money,” to end the electoral college and to get full passage of the ranked choice voting system. Jim has a very serious side and very lofty ambitions and he is quite well-read on liberal issues of the day. He also has a warm part of him and a good sense of humor. I know because he laughs at my comments.

And of course, there’s Sal, who raises very good points during conversations. I say good points for a Republican. But Sal also happens to be an expert on the Civil War and is very involved in mass reenactments. He’ll drive to Virgina for a week-long reenactment with every action, every volley, planned. Well, he is a Republican though he’s not one of those annoying Republicans.

That brings me to Dan,who is often the butt of good natured ribbing. He asks for it because he is so good natured. He’s like a wounded fish in a sea of sharks. I should mention that he too is a Republican which makes it that much easier to bust him. But Dan is a key member because of his self-effacing attitude that is so non-aggressive in contrast to me.

As group dynamics go, Tom and I tend to dominate the talk. And when I am lubricated a bit, I can be extremely argumentative and overbearing and convinced I cannot be wrong. I’m a little better without the beer.

I often bring the conversation back to anti-Semitism, but in a light-hearted way. If anyone disagrees with me I tell them it’s because they are anti-Semitic. Dan also is Jewish and he smiles when I bait people with the anti-Semitic rant.

We never settle anything but we seem to all respect each other’s perspectives. It’s fun and I learn a few things. There has never been a word said in anger, maybe a few in frustration. The group is like an island in a sea of craziness, a respite from feeling stranded. Most of all, it’s a group of guys who have become friends because we like each other.

Except for that Republican, if he would only change.