Sounds: Good, bad and Trump

I was thinking about Trump and my mind wandered to the worst sounds I’ve ever heard.

Of course, Trump’s condescending, ignorant, self-aggrandizing, petty, perverse, pathetic, bigoted voice tops the list. Everything else sounds like a songbird. Hope I didn’t put off you Trumpers out there.

But relatively speaking, here are a few of the sounds you’d rather never hear. Some are a little more profound than others but all scratch at the soul. Here they are, not in order of annoyance.

The sound of the needle scratching the 33 rpm record.

The sounds of a tree crashing in the front yard.

Little dog wretching in the living room.

Little boy wretching in the living room.

Child screaming, I hate you and I always will.

Crashing sound of unknown cause in the downstairs room.

Crashing sound of known cause in the downstairs room.

Snapping of the guitar string.

Ambulance siren coming closer and closer.

Police siren coming closer and closer.

License, registration and insurance card, please.

Why can’t we talk anymore?

That number is no longer in service.

There is no more room for messages, please try again another time.

Your account has been hacked.

We are no longer accepting appointments.

This is the office of your urologist and your PSA results are in, please call.

Thank you for your interest but we will be going in another direction.

I’ll call.

It’s over.

Your account is overdrawn.

We can fix it but it needs a new everything.

There will be a slight wait.

It could have been worse.

I’m pregnant.

I’m leaving.

Crying behind a closed door.

Almost.

Door slamming.

Stone silence.

Non-stop Bee Gees.

Non-stop Adele.

Sounds of shoelace snapping.

Squirrels in the attic.

Outside unfamiliar voices at night.

All televangelists.

Mitch McConnell.

Lindsay Graham.

All the Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee.

Alarm clocks.

Fox News.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Now for some nice sounds:

Songbirds in the morning.

Sound of the police car passing.

I love you.

Sweet dreams.

Your refund is in the mail.

Lawnmowers in summer.

Bob Dylan.

Leonard Cohen.

A baby’s yawn.

Crackling fine.

Your tax refund is in the mail.

A baby’s gurgle.

Going, going gone.

Windshield wipers slapping.

Lonesome train whistle.

A kiss.

A belly laugh.

Steady stream.

Waves crashing.

Rivers flowing.

Thunder crashing.

You win.

Rain drops falling.

Fields of Gold.

Peepers at night.

Children laughing.

Adults laughing.

The wind.

Anything but Trump.

Anything but Trump.

Anything but Trump.

Anything but Trump.

Anything but Trump.