Vanishing Birds
and the Reality of Trump
The argument is entirely persuasive, perfectly obvious, beautifully crafted and indisputably factual: There are no real birds but rather millions and millions of drones that look like birds have been placed in the skies by the government and these “birds” are spying on every person on the globe and killing millions.
Is it any less believable than the world is flat, the pandemic is a fake or that trump won reelection?
Look at the facts, eight of the nine planets have no known deaths and none have birds, while earth, the only planet in the solar system, has registered 120,315,672,896 deaths. You can draw your own conclusions and also note that after you consume the bird, in the form of a turkey or a chicken, it implants bio-tracking devices in your stomach and making the lie a part of yourself. And if you need any other proof, just take a look outside and see all of the birds on power lines and you must know that if they were real, they would die of electric shock but rather, they are drones charging their batteries on power lines.
Quoting Arthur Shopenhauer:”All truth passes three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
Alright the “Birds Aren’t Real Movement” is fake, a satire, totally tongue in cheek but it succeeds in the founders’ plan to put the lie to the outrageous conspiracy theories that make their way from the Internet deep into the public mind.
The movement was created in 2017 on a whim by 23-year — old college dropout, Peter McIndoe. Hundreds of thousands of like-minded anti-conspiracists have signed on, billboards are popping up around the country and there is merch, lots of merch, from “Birds Aren’t Real” hats, banners and shirts to Bird’s Aren’t Real” hoodies, socks, stickers, face masks and sweaters for $70 although they are sold out.
The “Birds Aren’t Real” website includes a well-written, highly believable explanation that the organization’s “initial goal was to stop the genocide of real birds. Unfortunately this was unsuccessful, and the government has since replaced every living bird with robotic replicas. Now our movement’s prerogative is to make everyone aware of this fact.” A video, which has had more than20 million view on Tik Tok, is an interview of a “former C.I.A. agent” who confessed to working on bird drone surveillance.
Kind of like Fox “News.”
I postulate that the creators of all the conspiracy theories proffered by QAnon and the many other hairbrained organizations are well aware that they are marketing in malarkey and that they were created with one and only one goal, to underscore the gullibility and lack of intelligence of Americans and others around the world. So, no, there are no pedophile Democrats eating babies; no, the COVID-19 pandemic was not created to allow Democrats to install tiny monitors in people; no, the world is not flat; no, the moon landing was not photographed on a soundstage in Connecticut; no there is no Bigfoot, Loch Ness monster or flying saucers; vaccines do not cause autism; and no, no, no, John F. Kennedy is not alive and living a quiet life as a sheep herder in Montana.
Unfortunately, the joke is that too many people didn’t get the joke and that many, many people don’t know that the conspiracy theories are total and intentional quackery and the effects have been very real, like the millions of people who think trump won a second term, that the election was rigged by millions of phony ballots and that the government is run by a deep state. It would all be so ridiculous if it wasn’t so absurdly serious.
And BTW, there is no Marjorie Taylor Greene, Paul Gosar, Lauren Boebert, Bob Good, Jim Jordan, Andy Biggs, Scott Perry, Mark Meadows, Max Miller, Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Andy Harris, Ronny Jackson, Billy Long, Kelly Anne Conway, Mo Brooks, Sean Hannity, Ron DeSantis, Tucker Carlson or Thomas Massie. They are all creative fiction. (Oh if it were only so). Sadly, it doesn’t matter if these people are real or not, just that people believe they are.
Sorry to say, though that trump is a reality, even though he may seem to be a construct out of a “Friday the 13th” sequel.
I propose to put forth a few of my own conspiracies that I know to be Janus-faced:
Studies have shown that water is actually a living, sentient being, and the cause of hundreds of thousands if not millions of drownings.
In-laws, in many but not all cases, have been manufactured using artificial intelligence and three-dimensional printers and imprinted with an insatiable level of belligerence and contrariness.
The stars in the heavens do not exist but are actually holes in the black skies.
Marilyn Monroe, Natalie Wood, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Robert F. Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, Tom Petty, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, Tupac Shakur and River Phoenix never died and since their purported demises, they have all been living communally in Arkansas.
The Yankees have actually won every World Series ever played but were robbed of a few, here and there, by conspiratorial, faulty scoreboards.
Eating cheese before going to bed will cause nightmares but eating several artichoke hearts will result in a sound, peaceful slumber.
A special kind of mineral water that is found only in the mountains of Tibet will add years to your life and provide greater, almost limitless amounts of energy.
I think here may be some money made with these fabricated facts or maybe just some good, healthy mayhem and watch out for those spying birds.