He’s on the Links
Imagine “On the Waterfront II,” starring William Bendix as Terry Malloy or “Gone With the Wind II,” featuring Andy Devine as Rhett Butler or even “The Graduate II,” with Eddy Murphy starring as Benjamin. Sequels usually bomb and that would seem to be likely with a rally planned for Saturday on the west lawn of the Capitol in Washington, D.C., to support the wackos who invaded the Capitol on Jan. 6.
These things, like sequels, just don’t work without the original stars and I expect this one to fizzle like a wet firecracker. You just can’t have much of a rally without the chief antagonizer, the cowardly lion, ex-president trump. The question of the day will be “Where’s Donald,” when the “Justice for J6” rally comes to support the MAGA, white supremacist, anti-Semitic, xenophobic losers who were arrested after they stormed the capitol and five people were killed. More than 600 people were arrested that day while members of congress frantically hid for their lives and the Justice Department has reported that at least 165 defendants have been charged with assaulting, resisting or impeding officers or employees, “including over 50 individuals who have been charged with using a deadly or dangerous weapon or causing serious bodily injury to an officer.”
The Department of Homeland Security expects around 700 people for Saturday’s event. Rally organizers need to hire Sean Spicer for crowd estimates while even the wingnut, wacko, white supremacist “Proud Boys,” famously asked by trump to “stand back and stand by,” won’t be at the rally. A total of 37 members of the Proud Boys have been indicted for their role on Jan. 6, but the group is laying low after it was revealed that the head of the Proud Boys, Henry “Enrique” Tarrio, was an FBI informant.
Gen. Bone Spurs will likely be strutting his overblown body around his garish golf course in Bedminster and while he’s probably too scared to show up in person, you can be sure he will be with the protesters in spirit while he continues his quest to regain the White House after he was robbed by millions of fake votes, which he wasn’t. You won’t see any of those outspoken and brave and honorable Republicans who said the Jan. 6 rally was nothing like it was reported and that those arrested at the rally were “political prisoners.” That would include such luminaries as two of trump’s loudest and most obnoxious supporters in Congress, Reps. Madison Cawthorn, R-N.C. and Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga.
Other uber trumpers who will be in absentia include Rep. Paul Gosar, R-Ariz., who said those in jail “are political prisoners who are now being persecuted and bearing the pain of unjust suffering.” Also expected not to show is House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., who is vying for the title of “Most Odious Member of Congress,” said none of the Republican conference members are expected to go. Ditto for Sen. Tommy Tuberville, R-Ala., who spoke with his bud, trump on Jan. 6, although we don’t know what the two loyal Americans spoke about.
The rally has been organized by a group calling itself “Look Ahead America,” led by former trump campaign aide, Matt Braynard, who has promised that “high-profile” speakers will be in attendance though he wouldn’t name them. What you will see remains shrouded in mystery and may include such media stars as the sneering, Mike “The Pillow King” Lindell, who may even sell a few pillows if he has the time. Lindell may even elaborate on his prediction that Trump will present “proof” next month to the Supreme Court that the election was “stolen by the Chinese” and that the court may just order a do-over election.
Maybe Steven Bannon will make a surprise appearance and he might even shave for the event. Rapper Nicki Minaj might just talk about how her cousin’s friend got swollen testicles and became impotent as a result of getting the COVID-19 vaccine. And then she’ll do a rousing rapper duet with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis who is still trying to tell people that they don’t need masks to avoid the deadly disease.
According to those living in a parallel and opposite universe, the Jan. 6 insurrection was really just like a class trip and those who invaded were all just touring the capitol and were even kissing the police and being especially peaceful and gracious. This time will certainly be similar in tone if not in size as docents dressed in colonial garb will likely escort friendly protesters while Boy Scouts pass out favors like tiny American flags.
Braynard was soothing when he announced that “No one is going to be bringing a weapon who’s going to be part of our crowd, I can assure the police that.” How someone connected to trump can assure anyone anything is beyond me. Strangely enough, Braynard has said protesters should not wear pro-trump clothing or carry trump signs and I expect to see various rainbow banners supporting LGBTQ people.
Look Ahead America and another group called “Citizens Against Political Persecution” have filed a formal complaint with the UN Human Rights Committee demanding sanctions against key Biden administration officials regarding the “inhumane and unconstitutional treatment of the January 6th prisoners.”
Let the show begin.