Words Of Wisdom
As a veteran of life, I have often been asked for my advice to graduating high school and college students.
Well not often. Well I’ve actually never been asked but I won’t stand on ceremony. In no special order, here is what I suggest to those on the precipice of something great and wonderful or just mediocre and acceptable.
Try not to get arrested.
Don’t litter. It’s disgusting to see cigarette boxes, empty beer bottles and protective gloves in the gutter but don’t pick them up because you could get COVID 19.
Wear a face mask in public and particularly in stores and other places where people congregate even when they aren’t wearing masks and think that without symptoms, all is good, and within days they are feeling lousy. And make sure you cover your nose and don’t wear the mask around your face only.
Stay away from ticks because the small ones that look like a moving freckle can kill you or just make your life miserable. If you see one, pick it off and smash it to death with the end of a pen.
Don’t kill animals or people unnecessarily.
Don’t yell at others.
Lift weights and stay strong while also doing cardio exercises like jogging or running on a treadmill or even taking yoga classes where women can bend in shapes you will never be able to even approach or even imagine.
Get a pet because pets become loyal friends unlike people who tend to be fickle and also because a pet, like a dog, is always going to wait for you and wag his tail, unlike a friend, even though most friends are house trained and dogs may not be.
Apologize quickly and earnestly when you’ve done something that may have hurt somebody even if they don’t think it hurt them and take into account that maybe, just maybe, you may have been wrong this one time.
Be quick to fall in love and beware that heart break is part of the deal. If you don’t want someone to break your heart, keep clear of relationships that can be the most satisfying things you can do, before your heart is ripped out of your chest and you rest a bit before starting all over again like a true masochist.
Listen when people talk and don’t be so busy trying to get your point out there because then you’ll miss what is being said by someone else and it may be very important compared to the utter insignificance of what you were going to say.
Enjoy good music, especially the classics and most songs by Dylan, Van Morrison and The Band, not to mention Leonard Cohen, if you can handle his poetry without attempting suicide, and Tom Waites, if you can listen to him and understand any of his words.
Read a lot of books, including the classics like “Moby Dick” by Herman Melville and “The Brothers Karamazov” by Fyodor Dostoevsky and the books that are just good, though not classics, like “The Yankee Years” by Joe Torre and Tom Verducci and “The Overstory” by Richard Powers.
Let loose every now and then by singing very loudly at the top of your lungs in the car; jumping into the cold, cold ocean naked and tell people it’s small because of shrinkage due to the temperature; eating really, really unhealthy but really, really tasty fried food; and buying a $20 IPA or two or three.
Explore your mind and be fearless about where it takes you, whether it is to places that seem utterly absurd or actions that could potentially land you in a psychiatric unit.
Don’t drink and drive and remember that friends don’t let friends drink and drive.
Try to live a moral life where you don’t build your victories on the backs of other people’s defeats but rather through your own blood, sweat and tears along with toil and trouble, not to mention working your fingers to the bone.
Don’t listen to leaders and watch out not to stand in one space for too long because you will wilt and get rancid.